My One Sided Love Life (Part II)

...Continue from Part I

After ard 3 mths in Poly... I began to realise i cldnt concentrate as much as i wanted to. More often than not i would drift off and think of her. I didn't join any CCA and all i did after class was to work or went home. I cldnt stand to be alone or stoning... Cos everytime i am alone my mind is filled with tots of her. Even thought my work place and poly got really nice gals and good working environment. I juz cldnt focus... I needed to see her... Every once in a while i would take out her photo n stare @ it... asking myself... Y... ware did i go wrong? Sigh....
Finally one day i was home alone n surfing the web when the tots of her overwhelm me. I was surfing the webbies of polys... trying to find inspiration for my project when i visited SP webbie n realise i cld do a search on students... She is IN SP. I cldnt resist it anymore. I email her...
In 3 days times, she replied... n guess wat. Her fers reply... How have u been? I MISS YOU...
Know how tat deals as a killer blow for a guy who is so in love with you.. I lost all senses... I replied n met her a few weeks lata. In between we chatted on phone n catch up with one another. Its not that she hadnt bother to call or page me during the 4-5 mths we lost contact. She lost her pager and wallet as it was stolen on her way home to Msia. She cldnt remember my number n thus she cldnt get me. She had broken off with tat bastard bf of hers as it turn out he is a real bastard. We went out for a few times n the fire inside mi is rekindled. I wanted her so badly... I decided to give it one more try. I was working in ABN that time(Skool holidae) n would end work @ 5pm. So everyday i would go home n wash up and after which i would take a bus down to woodland. Waiting for her to finish work @ bodyshop. sometimes she is delay n i haf to wait like 2 hours for her. But it feels good to be able to wait for her. I think alot of guys would find mi a idiot and someone who is so dumb as to waste my time like this. but i really enjoyed waiting for her... i was hoping for a chance. After she finished work we would take the train back to Toa Payoh n from there walk to her house. Its a half an hour walk n most of the time we wld stop @ the petrol kiosk n get something to bite n chatted along the way. Its the most beautiful time of my life. Taking a stroll with the gal of my dream... I was beginning to regret last time when i was working with her in the warehse. I shdnt had taken cab ALL the way. I dun wan her to walk or take bus but i realise this is mroe enjoyabloe than taking taxis... This carry on for like 3 mth. during that we often go shopping n watch movies. I know her taste for clothes n food. Every likes n dislikes... Den one day when i ask her out to Pasir Ris for dinner. Someware near fisherman village ware there is a very nice ambience and settings. We ate and chatted for a long time. She was wearing a sarong i bought for her. She look gorgeous that nite. I was memserised by her yet again. We spend like 3hrs der and when we pack off to go home... i popped the qns again... I tot i would succeed... Guess i am juz another toad lusting for swan... Rejected once more. This time is more painful than the other time. Cos u noe what... she went steady with one of her colleague recently again... N i was again in the dark... Maybe i really let her feel i am juz another good fren to her but i really like her... i dunoe how to express my love.
No choice but to put on a brave front. I told her i would wait for her and sent her home. Den same scenerio i walk home from Toa Payoh... Din cry this time. but i felt that my heart is dead. I cld no longer feel the fire inside me... Its sad yet i dunoe how to describe the feelings... i stopped sending her home... Juz nice poly is starting and its back to skool to forget everything. I slowly drifted out of her life.... but i kept my promise... I waited... Until recently i recieve news she will be engaged next yr in april. He is a very good guy. Saw him once or twice and i am really happy for her... She found her lover and partner whom she can depend on.
Deep inside i still yearn for her. I wish to try one more time. but i noe i would only make sad or angry... Now trying to forget the love for her but i guess i cant. Its still der and will always be der... Eunice... I LOVE YOU...
Well guess this is the last time i can say that in here n i hope wayne dun read it... Else he will hate mi to the core.
Well thats my story guys... My little sad story on my pathetic love life... Maybe next time i will write some side story... MAYBE... Thx for reading my blog and hope u guys dun luff @ me... I noe i am an idiotic bastard but do bear with me....